Tuesday, February 07, 2006


Forget that crap about Jesus feeding five thousand people with a few loaves of crusty bread and two fish. Today I witnessed a true miracle.

I stood in front of the vending machine and put in my seventy-five cents. I carefully pushed the coordinates that would relinquish little drops of heaven into my possession, otherwise known as Skittles.

I watched the corkscrew turn slowly. The bag of Skittles hovered on the precipice.

And then they both stopped.

My candy was poised at the edge. Would I have to send in another seventy-five cents to rescue it from limbo?

And then it happened.

Miraculously sensing that the candy had not dropped, the machine's corkscrew made another half turn, but in doing so, it dropped a second bag of Skittles.

People, mark your calendars. February 7, 2006. I'm dubbing it the Skittles Miracle.

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